No need to worry

I live here on my knees
As I try to make you see
That you’re everything I think I need

You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain


Even if I were to try, I could never forsake my testimony, its my ONLY consistent joy

The Best Month

So [i LOVE march] let me tell you why:

{what you dont want to listen?....... sadface....... imma still tell you though}

1. The weekend (4th-6th) I have the best weekend planned [friends, car, giftcards :D, ELDER OAKS, lots of church, and teaching] I luff it all!

2. I turn {ONE}! its my first birthday of the month on the 14th!

3. Spring Break! thats right, all you UTAH peoples stalking my blog [<3] ill be in Utah the 16th, 17th, and 18th...... call or text me I want to see you all!

4. I turn {twenty-ONE} yay for the second birthday of the month on the 22nd!

5. My bSff turns {twenty} on the 23rd!


OH YAY! march is going to be fabulous! what do you have planned for march?

{girl} emo [moment]

So I guess it is about due time since I owe it to my gender to have these [moments]. I am in EMO-town right now, it is ridiculous. So you see, i have sort of an explanation for this all.

{Normal}ly I am not this stressed. {Normal}ly when i get stressed i usually just cry and cry and cry until I realize i am in [de]NILE and just being a girl. Well since the gospel has been in my life, it really is hard for me to cry, so imagine my surprise when i started my first {girl}emo[moment] since being baptized and I CANT CRY (what the weird?) {Normal}ly my other option to this emo-phase is to DANCE it out, which leads me to my other problem........ um hi not in dance anymore! :[

I am so missing dance! ANYONE have keys to a studio we can go dance in for fun to just dance out stress? I will love you for[ever] and make you treats :D Please?

Are you for REALS!?!

HELLO ASU EARLY CHILDHOOD EDUCATION PROGRAM, [bye bye] sleep!

I have been [extremely] busy this week, and unfortunately its only the first week of classes and it only gets harder from here! I am in my program now for early childhood education and let me tell you, ASU doesn't mess around! Say what you will about ASU undergrad schooling, but folks this is the first time since HIGH SCHOOL i've had to sweat about homework :D Oh I [love] the challenge.

My homework:

40 page reading [x5] {one for each class}

hyperlinked powerpoints

2 articles of reading [x5]

starts to [at least] 20 page research papers

Thats just the start of my week! okay so as much as I complain, I love the challenge [miss the sleep] I guess I just have to learn how to survive on 5 hours of sleep each night! So with how busy I have been, I have managed to do a few things this past week that have kept me sane.

Monday - Brother Calton's [Book of Mormon class]

Tuesday - Brother Calton's [Latter day hymns class]

TEMPLE [with Kristi]

Wednesday - Brother Calton's [Book of Mormon class]

Thursday - Brother Calton's [Latter day hymns class]

Pretty much Brother Calton is the man, and invites so much spiritual growth into my life! [I love him for it!] oh and this goes without saying, but I enjoy saying it: {I LOVE THE GOSPEL}

Catching up!

Okay I'll admit it, i am terrible at updating when my life gets crazy busy, but heres what it has consisted of lately.

- making large vw vans out of crate paper

- staple-guning flower garlands to walls

- working at express

- smiling LOTS

- preparing for school

- preparing for no social life for 6 months

- and a crazy dream

You wanna know the crazy dream right? Well i hope you answered [yes] since im going to tell you anyways.

...... So I was working at express when there was a hostage situation at the mall, all of my co-workers and i were hiding in the back room. A male co-worker [didnt have a face the whole dream] grabbed me by the neck and held a gun to my head and shouted to the group "I'm taking her with me, im a part of this whole thing!" and instead of me pleading not to go or asking for help in terror i screamed, "WAIT! can i bring my scriptures?" [k really i did, but this isn't over yet] so he let me bring my scriptures. And the next thing i remember, i woke up in a half filled bathtub [with my clothes on] and with barbed wire constraining me into the tub and with all sorts of bombs attached to me to blow off my leg and my tush tush aka [my peach]. As the kidnapper is explaining to me how the thing works and how im going to die a slow and painful death without a leg or [my peach] he then asks me "any last words?" with a smile in my heart and an even bigger one on my face i replied, "See you in heaven!".... then i woke up.

I know im crazy and sorry i talk about the gospel a lot but now you know its even in my dreams. i am the crazy weird convert who dreams about my scriptures and who even in my dreams understands the expanse of the atonement.

In my hymns class in institute with Bro [amazingness] Calton he asked us to read certain verses of hymns all about the atonement and this hymn #186 [Again we meet around the Board] really hit me.

1. Again we meet around the board
Of Jesus, our redeeming Lord,
With faith in his atoning blood,
Our only access unto God.

2. He left his Father’s courts on high,
With man to live, for man to die,
A world to purchase and to save
And seal a triumph o’er the grave.

3. Help us, O God, to realize
The great atoning sacrifice,
The gift of thy beloved Son,
The Prince of Life, the Holy One.

we talked about how in everything we do the most important thing we learn is about our pre-mortal existence. Once we know who we are, where we came from and where we can go [because of the atonement] {though the atonement} the veil becomes thinner.

I guess all im trying to get out is, look at every individual around you: member, non-member, awesome person, terrible person and see them how Christ sees them. See them for their potential, see them for who there were in the council in heaven, and see them for who they can become with Christ's help. Love them for who they were in the pre-mortal, and love them for who they will become after the resurrection.

The war is raging on earth, we have the upper hand if we would just use the good around us. So be on the winning side today and love everyone around you........ even those who are trying to blow you up in a bathtub :D

What makes you happi[est]

Its safe to say life is full of lots of bumps, bruises, and winding roads. Lately, mine has been a roller coaster [the loopy kind]. Im sure its not over yet, but in this moment of clarity ill take the peace for about .2546 seconds. But this is what i've learned.

What makes someone else happy, will not always make you happy. You are a very different person than 75% of normalcy, so find what makes [YOU] happy.

Heavenly Father has finally stopped banging his head against a wall with me since Im starting to see a glimpse of light, and starting to understand what he wants me to do.

Jesus is awesome! I am so eternally grateful for his sacrifice that allows me to make mistakes :D

AND FINALLY....

The gospel is what makes me happi[est]. Watching new converts and investigators start to uncover how divine they really are inside makes my heart smile. Sharing my testimony with those who Satan does not want in Heavenly Father's kingdom for the good they will do, [that] is what brings me joy.

Merry [Christ]mas!...... If you have the joy of knowing Christ and understanding his atonement and why his birth was essential to our salvation, share it with someone, right [NOW]!

I love to see the Temple....

I love this place! Seriously, its such a blessing in my life! And guess what! they are setting up more and more Christmas lights day by day! If you have not been on the grounds ever or in a long while GO GO GO!

I also love.....

My new headband!! It is one of three but I just love love love it!

What are your happys for the day/week?